I have been working on myself…Learning to choose a more positive, hopeful and happy way of life. That is difficult cause life as we know it and the people we do it with can be a pain…but!…It is working, I mope about lesser now when things do not go my way and I have learnt to not identify as unfortunate but to remove myself from the situation and see it as barely an ‘unfortunate thing’ that has happened to me.
You are never unfortunate…an unfortunate thing happened to you like it most likely will happen to every human at some point in their life. Accepting some realities opened the door to the long walk to happiness i am on…Sharing 5 of my most favourites with you…
No One Is Perfect
Even you! Face it we are all flawed! It sounds cliché right? Yes it is a common saying, but have you accepted it? Accepted that everyone is going to let you down at some point in your relationship with them? And when they do, you have to remember you also have let someone else down before and see past it? Accepting this has stopped me from many arguments, fights and face offs with people… I just stop and say to myself well…I am not perfect so I am going to have to learn to deal with this without attacking this person. Overlook the issue or take time out not to point out their actions really but to point out how it makes you feel.
Because no one owes you anything! We all found ourselves on this planet and believe it or not we are all looking for the same things; a good life, happiness, good health, wealth, prosperity! Nobody wants it bad! Everyone is looking out for themselves and there is nothing wrong with that! Often times in the process of doing so we neglect other people or take advantage of them. Is that morally a right thing to do? Depends on your perception of ‘morality’. Should people be this way? I do not think so…but it is reality! So the earlier you lower your expectations of people the happier you will be. This is not to say you should not expect the best of people..you can do that, but you have to hold point number one above in hand whilst doing so.
An Understanding Of The Seasons And Times
Hey I know most of us know how to prepare for summer, and harmattan, and the rainy seasons and winter. We however struggle to understand bad times and dry seasons. When things are just not working out… I do not understand why life is designed that way; good and bad times…but I have accepted it is designed that way! I have been sick and then healthy, I have been broke and had money, I have been rejected and accepted, I have been told off and praised, cried till my throat burned and laughed till my belly hurt…I have known good and bad times and I have accepted they come in seasons…in times. If i can just keep my hope up, keep moving forward, keep my candle burning, sit tight through the bad times…The good times and seasons will come again!
I did not grasp how much negative vibes and words had an effect on me till I was away from the people who emitted them into my life…Nothing is truly impossible guys…You only need to look around you to see proof of that. Everything around you was once a thought floating around in someone’s head, and If they had listened to the people that said it was impossible for them to bring it to life, they would have missed out on their name being recorded in history, or we all would have missed out on experiencing whatever it is they created. Identify the people or things that make you feel sad or doubt yourself. The people that once you mention an idea to them mostly have this to say first; ‘But remember you only have so and so, I don’t think you can manage’ Identify them and stop discussing your ideas with them and perhaps minimise the time you spend around them. Protect your joy!
Lastly I have learnt to choose to focus on the solution to every problem I encounter instead of stewing in it. Talking about your problems does nothing but make you feel worse, it makes your problems appear bigger. So i go through the motions like every other human being, but I do not stew in it…Yes I have a problem, Yes it sucks, but what am I going to do about it? How can I make it better or at least hurt less? What is the solution? No feeling is permanent, no situation is permanent…So instead of focusing on this ‘changeable problem’ I will invest my energy in finding a solution for it… In making myself better. Isn’t that not much better?
I am still work in progress…but I feel way better than before. Now I happily choose to stay positive, find solutions, not place too much expectations on people. Accepting life is turn by turn in everything.